This week on Craig’s List

This week on Craig’s List:

the perennially hopeful…..“antique stapler with original box of staples - $25 (lexington)
antique stapler with box of original staples in original box 25.00, works, I have seen people decorate workshops with these old tools “…...I have never seen anyone decorate with a stapler, well except me, but I was using the stapler to s t a p l e t h i n g s...

the nondescript:
“wind direction for barn - 500.00 im in bay city “ …ahhh…which way is the wind blowing there?

The excessively verbose…
“China Plate/Yuan Wood & Sons - $25 (Port Huron) The rare beauty of this ancient print will make anyone smile with the peacock looking over his right shoulder. The Blue and White has pleased me for years.(dont even get me started on this) But with all; it should be with family.(….do you mean a peacock family??) Mfg. England, Product of Yuan Wood & Sons #RN65636 the plate is in good condition, minor back scaring but in good condition on the face side, no chips and as we know rare to find this piece. Please phone” I still dont know whose family it should be with....

The insane:
“1940's Dining Room Table, 4 chairs and buffet - $1500 (Yale, Michigan)
DREXEL Duncan Phyfe Travis Court Harp Lyre Base Table, 4 chairs and Bachelor's chest
Excellent condition. Table when folded down measures 32 inches by 42 inches. With drop leafs opened, table measures 62 inches by 42 inches. Table extends to 98 inches
Includes pads for table top.
chest measures 36 inches wide by 17.5 inches deep by 32 inches high.
Call Barb for more info or to see them” really my friend Carol has one of these except she has 8 chairs and 3 leaves, for sale at $400.00 and the buffet does not add $1000.00 to the price!

And the inexplicable“Sye (sic) - $35 (lexington)” wtf?

The misinformed: Silver Tea Set (Algonac)
Antique Silver Tea Set, 5 pieces, Good condition, a little tarnished, nothing a little tarnex won't fix, make an offer, call Mike, leave a message. “ …tarnex is the worst thing to use on silver, it eats the plating, don’t use it!!

The spell check challenged and the jaded:
Primative (sic)fruit/wine/cider press Handy brand - $80 (Port Huron Township)
“Handy” fruit press This is really old. My husband says it looked like this when his parents purchased the farm in the early 1950's. any other misc. non-information you want to add?
The screw turns freely. It's about 24 inches wide at the base and about 36 inches to the top of the frame. Port Huron Township pick-up only, no delivery or shipping, no checks.” but you trust us to come to your house?

Antique Mirrow - $60 (Port Huron)
Antique mirrow with candle holders. Good condition. Call Jerry “ he spelled it Mirrow twice, so he had to mean it…